Mike the Psych's Blog

What if psychologists ruled the world? In real life?


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Men, women still want you – but only if you are perfect!

Women only want Mr Perfect!

If you thought the chick-lit era was over, with no more searching for Mr Right a la Bridget Jones or Sex in the City; or that WAGS were now irrelevant –  then you were right, but oh so wrong! At least according to Amy Turner’s piece in the Sunday Times a while ago (which I just found in my draft box); “Mr So-So has no chance with the SAS girls”. That was 7 years ago; has anything changed?

Because it seems that then women still wanted to meet the man of their dreams – Civitas think tank found that 70% of women aged 20 – 35 want to get married – but only if they found Mr Right. In particular so-called SAS women: successful, attractive and single – say they are happy enjoying themselves.

As one SAS women, described as having “endless legs and sparkling repartee” (sycophant-speak for skinny public school girl) said; “I’m fabulous and I want someone equally as fabulous to join my party“. Not much narcissistic self-referencing there then and hardly suggesting an equal partnership (see “Princess on board…”).

Not for them Lori Gottlieb’s advice in; “Marry him: the case for settling for good enough”. As my management consultant colleagues might say, SAS women are taking a “six sigma” rather than just a “fit for purpose” approach and as one of my guest bloggers pointed out recently; “Male modesty doesn’t pay”.

But why should women settle for less now that they are increasingly holding the purse strings? Experts  in the USA think that by 2024 women will be earning more on average than men , particularly in Law, Medicine, and in academia.

There are already more females than males graduating and higher education is the best predictor of future financial success. And the trend is pretty much the same in the UK with more females than males graduating in Law and Psychology for example.

In America five years ago only 1 in 4  women in dual-income households earned more than the men; now it is up to a third and if that trend continues more women in middle-income jobs like teaching and healthcare will overtake men.

In America female graduates have flocked into cities such as New York and Dallas to find “gender-blind” jobs with the result that women in their 20s are now earning 20% more than their male counterparts.

A number of factors have influenced these trends: a sharp decline in the birth rate in cities where more women go to college, more men losing their jobs than women (women occupied more part-time jobs) in the recession (the “mancession“), and an increase in family-friendly – which usually means women-friendly – jobs.  And you could probably add to that the feminising of education.

So what do you think? Will women today settle for second best?

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Echoes of Munich 1972…………..

Kindadukish's Blog - I am not a number, I am a free man (The Prisoner)

02MUNICHweb4-master675.jpgMartin Samuels writing in his column in the Daily Mail commented on some of the happenings at the Olympics and in a few short sentences has summed up perfectly the attitude to Israel and its athletes by those countries that follow the “religion of peace”……I leave you to make your own judgement on the actions!

“The Lebanese Olympic official blocked the Israeli athletes from sharing the bus, as arranged.

The Saudi Arabian judoka, Joud Fahmy, forfeited her first-round match rather than risk facing an Israeli.

And on Friday, defeated Egyptian judoka Islam El Shehaby refused to shake hands or deliver the traditional bow to his opponent, Israel’s Or Sasson, having been warned on social media he would shame his country and religion by doing so.

He was quite correctly sent home in disgrace by his national association. There can be zero tolerance for intolerance at the Olympic Games, or this…

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The cult of violence in Islamic society

Good to see that the government has become the complainant in the Baloch murder case (or so-called honour killing) so no chance of family forgiving killer as is usual in these types of murder.

Kindadukish's Blog - I am not a number, I am a free man (The Prisoner)

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Pakistani civil society activists carry placards during a protest in Islamabad on July 18, 2016 against the murder of social media celebrity Qandeel Baloch by her own brother

The apparent “honour killing” of Pakistani social media celebrity Qandeel Baloch has led to renewed debate over women’s rights in the country, including the freedom to speak out online. Ms Baloch, 26, was frequently abused in cyberspace and had received death threats for her outspoken and controversial posts.
But Pakistani women, including journalists, often face vitriol and denigration for speaking their minds.
Here, four BBC Urdu journalists describe their experiences.

_90433936_ambershamsi.jpgAmber Shamsi
Some months ago, I published a story on Qandeel Baloch for BBC Urdu in which I identified her as a cultural landmark of sorts, a provocateur. Inevitably, the abuse followed. BBC Urdu and I were accused of having “nothing better to cover” for giving space to a “slut” who was disgracing…

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Welcome to the 21st century……..the Cologne police and authorities might like to read this!

Kindadukish's Blog - I am not a number, I am a free man (The Prisoner)

The article below is from the BBC web site and illustrates the problems that women face in islamic society. It is easy to see why the events in Cologne happened if this is the attitude towards a practicing female muslim. The sad thing is that the attacks on her come from both men AND women.

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Nawal al-Hawsawi is outspoken, black, a qualified pilot and married to a white man – everything her critics say a Saudi woman shouldn’t be. But despite receiving waves of abuse on social media, she refuses to bow to convention and hits back at her detractors “with love”.

Al-Hawsawi has become something of a star on social media. She has amassed almost 50,000 followers on Twitter, where she posts about the importance of racial diversity and marriage equality. But not everyone reading her feed is a fan.

The deluge of racist abusethat came at the…

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Pity that Indian society does not favour women in most other walks of life………witness the recent rapes of female students.

Kindadukish's Blog - I am not a number, I am a free man (The Prisoner)

Indian airline GoAir to hire female-only cabin crew in bid to cut fuel bill

Low-cost airline says move could save £330,000 a year because women are 20kg lighter on average than men

Cabin crew outside Delhi airport
Cabin crew outside Delhi airport, India. Photograph: Adnan Abidi/Reuters
Budget airlines are constantly on the lookout for ways to cut their fuel bills and India’s GoAir is no different.Its latest idea is to hire female-only cabin crew, refusing applications from their heavier male counterparts in a bid to limit fuel burn.The low-cost airline has calculated that the move will save up to 30m rupees (£330,000) a year, because women 20kg lighter on average.
 
Around 130, or 40%, of GoAir’s existing crew members are male, and they will keep their jobs. But men will miss out in the future, as the airline presses ahead with ambitious expansion plans for 80 new aircraft by 2020 and around 2,000 cabin…

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What’s in a (politically correct) name?

A reliable source informs me that at a university not far from here the language commission has decreed that the word pygmy is no longer acceptable. The preferred term is; “ little people of the rainforest”.

This begs lots of questions: leaving aside historical Greek references to races of dwarves, anthropologists apparently use the term to describe people with an average adult height of less than 150 cm or 5 feet.

Such people are found in equatorial Africa, Asia, and South America but I wasn’t aware of a population around Manchester.

Apart from that, and recognising that we are all part of the global village, has the university gone far enough?

Surely the word “little” could be considered size-ist ie discriminating against people who are big. You would probably have the same problem with small ie not large.

If the concern is that pygmy is sometimes used in a pejorative way, for example to describe academics as “intellectual pygmies“, isn’t “little people” condescending? Perhaps “people of diminutive stature” might be more acceptable. After all we associate diminutive with pet names amongst friends and families.

And what do we call pygmy goats and pygmy shrews now? Even though universities are struggling with budget cuts and redundancies, I feel there is more work to be done here by the language commission  (although Rome burning and Nero spring to mind).

First posted 16 May 2010


Those you have read – top 10 in 2010

When you first sit down to write a blog you hope people are going to want to read it – unless you plan it as a private journal where you can unburden yourself or have a rant at the world (OK so occasionally I have a rant too).

So it’s great for me that so many people have read my blog posts and some of them have even posted comments  – usually in a friendly way although occasionally mischievously.

So which posts had most readers in 2010? In reverse order:

10th most read: Living Together Apart (LTA) on the increase

This was a follow-on from my first ever posting and obviously reflected current trends among couples of all ages

9th most read: Daydream believer

This was an early post which originated in contributions I made to the Daily Mirror and Eve magazine. Perhaps we are all romantics at heart and want to believe in the power of dreams but it was also expanded into a guest business blog for my friends at Smoking Gun PR

8th most read: I’m stressed – gaze into my eyes

Well we all prefer a pretty face don’t we but it turns out that swearing also helps us withstand pain better!

7th most read: What sex is your job?

And still on pretty faces it seems you can sometimes be too attractive for your own good.

6th most read: Shoot yourself in the foot – join Facebook

As an avowed non-Facebook person it was pleasing to see that people did want to understand the down-sides of entrusting your personal life to it.

5th most read: Pigeons smarter than people??

Surprisingly popular perhaps but maybe it explains why some people still feed these flying vermin, especially outside high street bakers’ shops.

4th most read: What makes you happy?

And on a more positive note .. don’t we all want to be happy?

3rd most read: So many “friends” yet still lonely

My first post about the perils of Facebook – and yes I admit it was a bit of a rant!

2nd most read: 101 reasons why you can’t live together

The very first thing I ever posted and it obviously struck a chord (and thanks to everyone who contributed both willingly and unknowingly!)

But by an overwhelming number of views – 3 times the second most read – the clear favourite and most read post:

Blushing – do men find it attractive?

This was another early post and originated with a contribution I made to an article in the Daily Express but has continued to appear in my top posts section.

So thank you everyone and all the very best for 2011 when I will do my best to bring you more interesting posts.