Mike the Psych's Blog

What if psychologists ruled the world? In real life?


Domestic abuse. Where does it start?

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bully_picking_fight_1600_wht_11656-2Just over a year ago I posted on this topic following comments from Seema Malhotra the then shadow minister for preventing violence against women and girls.

As it’s that time of year when people often think about making changes in their lives I thought it worth re-posting with an updated checklist.

Malhotra had said that undermining someone’s self-esteem, for example, could be part of a broader pattern of behaviour, “Psychological abuse can be an indicator of physical abuse in the future or an indication of physical abuse that has happened in the past”.

It can be a part of a pattern of controlling behaviour that leaves people feeling fearful and terrorised in their own homes”.

And that could include being critical of someone’s appearance e.g. saying they look fat or their clothes are not trendy enough, or anything done to control or undermine someone.

Domestic abuse is usually thought…

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Domestic abuse now a criminal offence in the UK

Almost a year since it became a criminal offence. If you are suffering make a New Year resolution to do something about it NOW!

Here is my post from last year

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P1000496Controlling or coercive behaviour became a crime last week punishable by up to 5 years in prison under s76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015.

Alison Saunders, the director of public prosecutions, said “Being subjected to repeated humiliation, intimidation and subordination can be as harmful as physical abuse with many victims stating that it had a more lasting impact”

The UK government’s definition of domestic violence is “any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. The abuse can encompass, but is not limited to psychological, physical, sexual, financial, emotional

I posted last week on this subject not realising this amendment to the law was due. India Knight wrote about it in the Sunday Times describing such psychological abuses as seeking…

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On-line bullying persists

The internet and mobile technology generally has been a boon to bullies.

As well as Facebook, sites such as Little Gossip – recently shut down because of pressure from schools – provide anonymity to cyber-bullies who can make life hell for their victims.

And now there is another such site, Formspring. The comments that are put on the site are not worth repeating but are personal and hurtful and can be completely untrue.

There is even a Facebook group called: “Congratulations Formspring. You’ve just created the No 1 bullying site”. Surely a case of the kettle and the pot?

The sad thing is that to be bullied on Formspring you have to sign up to it. What is it about young people that they can’t/daren’t/won’t be without constant links to their “friends” and the outside world.

I once endured a 30 minute bus ride whilst the young women behind me texted all the way, her phone beeping every time she hit a key and recently at a main-line railway station everyone within a 5o yard radius was texting or e-mailing on their mobile phones. This self-centred and possibly narcissistic activity is an addiction and a curse.