The secret to a lasting relationship is to have a similar attitude to money.
It doesn’t matter whether you are spenders or savers as long as you both agree.
In a survey of 5,000 adults by three charities (carried out by YouGov for Relate, Relationships Scotland and Marriage Care) family finances were the biggest cause of tension in relationships.
It wasn’t the actual financial pressure that led to problems but the issues of trust, candour and values.
Other issues such as bringing up children, alcohol consumption, even extra-marital affairs, were less critical.
- 20% of people in the survey cited lack of compatibility
- 19% said different sex drives cause problems
- 17% blamed poor work-life balance
- 16% said they had different interests
- 15% said division of household labour caused problems
- 12% said alcohol consumption caused problems
- 12% thought jealousy was a problem
- 10% blamed the in-laws or extended family
- 9% blamed the fallout of discovering extra-marital affairs
- 8% said bringing up children caused problems
- 6% blamed spending too much time on-line
- 5% blamed smoking
- 4% thought tensions over stepchildren caused problems
- 3% blamed political differences
A counsellor with Relate said “The key is to be completely open and honest with each other about your values, feelings and spending habits. Make sure you’re both clear on how you plan to share finances, pay bills, and manage your spending”.